Skinny Bitch

A Quackenfriend gave JLQ "Skinny Bitch." She is reading/scanning it casually out of curiosity, but certainly not taking it to heart. I scanned a few of its pages and not surprisingly took it to heart. It hit one of my pet peeves about the world - bad "science" and terrible research.

I'll just post my rambling email I sent to her this morning. I thought it was a good idea to write this email instead of, say, "getting ready for work" and "making sure I'd be on time." Priorities, people, all about priorities.

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Re: Skinny Bitch

Are you effing kidding me? This is poor science. Maybe the rest of the book is better, and the chapter I read in the beginning seemed very good, but the meat eating thing reeks of poor science - having a conclusion, then hunting around for evidence to support it. I haven't taken an anthro class in a decade and can tell this section is rubbish.

The Atkins diet is moronic. Obviously. "If you study animals in the wild, you will note that they do not rely on anything other than their natural hunting ability, speed, strength, claws, teeth, and jaws." Then the girls go on to describe how physically frail we are. And that we'd get our ass kicked if we tried to hunt with our bare hands. That we would be helpless without silverware or an oven.

What? There are so many things wrong with these three pages it is unbelievable. It seems that the girls have forgotten that controlling our environment through intelligence and tool use can change our evolutionary trajectory. It seems they have forgotten that there are things called "scavengers" that can also eat meat. They seem to have forgotten about half of our teeth, designed for ripping and tearing. They must have forgotten that before using ovens, humans domesticated fire...i dunno...two MILLION years ago.

"Even if this were the case and eating meat did help us evolve, look at what we evolved from. We looked like friggin' apes and had massive heads, strong jaws, and brute strength. Maybe back then we were supposed to eat meat."

Really? Seriously? Did they watch 1,000,000 BC for their evolutionary research? We looked like apes because of our common ancestor. True. But these big cave dudes that we evolved from were...smaller than us. Every Australopithecine was smaller than us. Homo habilis, Homo erectus, and I'm sure the half dozen other early Homo species were *all* smaller than us. What was a reason they had huge heads and jaws? We had bigass teeth to grind tough plant material. When we domesticated fire and could begin breaking down plant and animal products into more easily digestible substances our teeth and skulls began to get smaller.

"But the last time we checked, we aren't cavemen anymore."

I'm pretty sure they think early humans meant Neanderthals. Big dudes with clubs, eating a mammoth a day. Last I checked, Neanderthals were evolutionary dead ends.

It is apparent they are discounting or not aware of the last two million years of human evolution. They go on to talk about our digestive tract, our saliva, comparing it to carnivores. Maybe it differs because we are OMNIvores. Maybe it differs because unlike every other carnivore, we tend not to eat raw meat, and haven't for a long, long time.

Want to get preachy about factory farming? No problem. Want to talk about fad diets being dumb? Good, they are. Want to try to help girls eat sensibly? Fantastic. But read this book with a grain of salt (which I know you already are). The fact that my passing knowledge of human evolution can completely rip apart these three pages of text makes me think that if I had passing knowledge of some other topics in this book, they, too may not hold up to scrutiny. Books like these that sound like science can be as bad as the fad diets and myths they are trying to debunk, and there is no reason more research wasn't done to avoid that.
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See, this pisses me off in the same way intelligent design pisses me off. It is worse than Creationism, because it wears a veneer of science while possessing none of its rigors and operates in the wrong direction (conclusion first). Boo, I say. Boo.

Sample Sizes

I've got irrefutable, scientifically sound evidence that people in New York are nicer than people in Philly.

A couple of weekends ago, I met a few of my friends (Ian and his girl Kim, Chandra and her girl Tavara) in Philadelphia to have a touristy weekend. We stayed at Elizabeth and Greg(g?)'s place, which are a few of the Quackenfriends with their two dogs, two cats, one newborn, and one 2.5 year old. Good mammals and a real credit to their species, all of them (except maybe that temperamental basement cat).

I had been listening to the JLQ iPod a bit on the train ride down and stashed it in the front packet of my trusty AMEX duffel bag before exiting the SEPTA R7 train in Philly. When we got to the Quackenfriend's place, I didn't see the iPod. The only possible explanations were that the iPod was stolen from my bag or that it fell out somehow and some guy in a Chase Utley jersey saw this happen, picked it up, began cackling, and scurried off to his 3-bedroom house in the suburbs. These are the only things that could have happened.


Contrast that to my experiences this month in NYC.

A few weeks ago, during an especially hot day, I was rushing to an appointment off 1st Avenue on the Upper East Side. A few seconds after I got to the building, two tweens rush in after me and inform me that I had dropped my cell phone. I thanked them a few times and headed up the elevator to my appointment, thinking that I should have given them ten bucks or something for being such rad girls.

Last week, during a somewhat hot day, I was rushing to an appointment off Lexington Avenue on the Upper East Side. I walked out of the 6-train stop at 96th street, listening to my iPod and generally oblivious to the world. I saw a woman in front of me stop and look back over her shoulder down the subway stairs. Since it was 9:15am and I had just taken four trains and was late to my appointment, my first thought was, "MOVE, YOU RETARDED IDIOT SHITFUCK! I AM LATE AND I HATE THE MORNINGS AND RUSH HOUR AND YOUR FACE!" A fraction of a second later, I figure I may want to look at what's going on and maybe step out of my grumpy morning zone for a second. Turns out a 30-something year-old guy was trying to tell me I had dropped my cell phone from my pocket and that maybe I should take it from him. I thanked him a few times and walked to my appointment, thinking that it was ok that I didn't give him ten bucks or something for being such a rad guy.


My conclusion? That I shouldn't drop my phone so much? No. That I shouldn't go to the Upper East Side anymore because every time I lose my phone I'm there? No, that's not the point.

The correct conclusion is that 100% of the time when I lose one of my electronics in NYC, someone makes damn sure I get it back. And 100% of the time when I lose portable electronics in Philly, a guy in a Chase Utley jersey steals it, then sells it to buy mediocre cheese steaks at Pat's and Gino's.

All hail the camera phone!

I like my little phone. It has a touch-screen, a keyboard, it is small, it usually works, it cost me less than a hundred bucks. It has a pretty bad camera. I'm not going to carry a real camera around with me, so most of the pictures I'm going to take in 2008 are going to be horrible.

I've also mentioned to to fellow blogger Gordon that personal blogs seem to have different purposes. I envisioned this thing being one-third diary, one-third keep-in-touch-with-friends-that-don't-live-so-close-no-more, and one-third things that I think are deep/cool/observations that other people have noticed for along time but I just realized and now I think I'm special and clever.

This entry is going to be mostly diary, unless other people enjoy blurry pictures of things I've seen without much in the way of context, explanation, or conclusions.

Let's get to the pics -

Care Bears on Fire were fun.



The 19-piece Jersey-Metal band later in the night at Otto's Shrunken Head was fun.



The last band at Otto's was surprisingly good and even had a few fans.



The Loved Ones, who opened before the Hold Steady, rocked the shit out of the crowd during a insane storm.




The Hold Steady did not disappoint, and it was nice to be in the first two rows of people the entire show.


And oddly enough for the area (Williamsburg/Greenpoint) the crowd was really good.




Frightened Rabbit (below) and Oxford Collective at Southpaw were both fun.


Live music is fun.
Unfortunately, I probably won't go to one of the best free NY concerts, the Siren festival, this weekend because God is going to make it really hot again this year and my jerkface friend Stefan is having his awesome, shitty birthday party that night.

They're really scottish

The drummer played the drums really hard and loud.

A good opening band.

One too many drinks.

A nice walk home in perfect weather from a show in my neighborhood.

Some Goose. A touch of the pipeweed.

A good client to pay the bills.

No time to pick up laundry, get a haircut, or clean the apartment.

How lucky am I?

(Anya and Jerf missed a show)

When it rains

After two weeks of not being busy with work, I'm getting slammed this week. Slammed is better.

Leave it to Pixar to teach us about humanity through robots (or rats, or toys, or monsters...).

The Wire is a great show. Everyone who said so is right.

Surprisingly good opening bands are fun. The AOK Collective is a Brooklyn-based hip hop group that played before Care Bears on Fire at the CitySol festival on 23rd at the East River. They were good. Five dudes or so, coupla gals, good voices, good fun. Care Bears is better than a novelty act but not as good as a good band. They're probably better than a third of the bands that gig around the city on any given night, and they're like 12. So good job there.

There's a 500 square foot beach near 21st street and the East River. Rocks, sand, seaweed, and everything. I really fucking liked that beach. I liked the idea that there were beaches all around Manhattan before we, as the Syreen from Star Control 2 said, "paved over it (earth) in concrete and plastic." Well put, Talana. Oh, and random bands playing loudly at Otto's Shrunken Head can be a helluva lot of fun. Especially with a Tiki drink. And a Kazoo. And a free CD. And a little pin. Recommended.

Coz see, I knew the Hold Steady would be great, and they were. High expectations met. Good crowd, tons of people, tons of space, and a beer for sale that I liked. The added bonus was that one of the opening bands, The Loved Ones, were really fun as well. It happened to be abso-fucking-lutely pouring when they were playing their set, which either added or detracted from the show, depending on how much you like somewhat annoying communal bonding experiences. Me, I like em.

And that right there is why I like the summer more than the winter. I get the cozy winter thing. I get the warm foods, the idea that you can always put more clothing on to get warm, but can't do shit when it is real hot out. The difference for me is that the mildly annoying weather in both seasons is treated differently. In the summer, there are concerts and outdoor movies and shows and funky art things (waterfalls, telectroscope), and chilling in gardens, and eating outside with people, and going out to ballgames, and a million other outdoor social things going on. The weather may suck, but it is a much more social season, a more fun season for me, than winter. The winter feels more solitary to me. I dig it in December, but can't stand it by the end of February. But props to all seasons - not a lot of days beat First Skirt Day in the Sprint and the crispness and pertyness of the Autumn is sweet. New York wouldn't be excited about any season without the previous season to set it up. Good job, seasons.

Yes/No

One taco, one hip-hop collective, one very competent tween girl punk band, one discounted beer, one small beach, one perpetual motion device, one aging New Jersey-based speed metalish band, one effective tiki drink, one loud punky band with one accordian, one order of friend chicken with a side of mashed potatoes, one Magic Hat #9, one bar we closed down, two friends, many coversations. One nice night.

/nodding/ /smiling/ /eyes closed/

Yes.

Bad pictures, Bad band

Here's a link to their music. Remember, this is how they sound in the "studio." Their voices are a billion times better recorded than they are live. Let that sink in.

http://www.myspace.com/evermacaque

Here's a CentroPic of them destroying my will to live -




Another from the second level of the Billyburg venue (approximate temperature of second floor: 121 degrees).




Thankfully, Andy D (the rapper-singer-songwriter) and Lord Midnight (rocking the hair, silver outfit, and guitar) came and saved the day -




And here's a macaque that looks really pissed that Macaque is sucks so hard and his sullying his good name -



Macaque better watch it, this little guy looks like he's ready to throw down and ruin their shit.

Absolutes

Hey blogosphere. A few people have told me "hey, you should have a blog." So fine, why not? Don't look for a theme here, there isn't gonna be one (at least not by design). Let's jump right in.

At thirty years of age, I think saying anything is the best or worst of anything is tough. My memory isn't that good, I've experienced a lot of good things and a bunch of crappy things and it makes comparisons difficult. I ate at Peter Luger's a couple of years ago and enjoyed it. Was it the best steak EVER? I don't think so. I also don't have a clear memory of eating a steak somewhere that was definitively better. So maybe it was. It was at a social outing tonight that helped me stumble on my mini-epiphany about bests and worsts.

See, I saw the worst live music show of my life tonight. When I realized that I let it wash over me. It helped me appreciate the moment even more. It was an experience. It was in Williamsburg (of course), right by the water (but without much of a view), and not near any trace of civilization. I bet the hipsters fucking love that. Two girls in this band. One with a MacBook and some small synth device, one awkwardly dancing around. Both couldn't sing for shit. I'm definitely a better singer than these girls and I'm *terrible*. Off key, no discernible point to any song, atonal, terribly annoying, and generally painful to witness.

They were the worst band I had ever seen.

Worse than the loud craptastic Andrew WK opening acts. Worse than that guy I saw who dressed like it was the 1920s and made gutteral, mumbling, faux-hillbilly attempts at old-timey music while stamping his foot on stage for 40 minutes. Worse than Porno for Pyros at the end of freshman year. Luckily, Jaime's friend came on stage after the two girls were done bludgeoning our souls and played guitar (while dressed in all silver) with his friend who techno-rock-rapped about drunk girls and Vikings. Much better.

The walk back to the subway (JMZ, Marcy) reminded me that I don't like Williamsburg so much. Real ugly, pretty expensive, completely random, barbed wire, construction, light industrial zoning randomly near apartments. Just a haphazard mess. I don't need to write about rich hipsters who love it there - I have a feeling other blogs may have covered that already. And I live in a similarly despised 'hood, so I shouldn't talk.

Randomly:
I got excited about 4+ innings of no-hit ball thrown by John Maine of the NY Mets. Fun to be a Met fan these days.

Firing Willie Randoph was a good move. He brought nothing to the table. Nice guy though and should have been handled a bit more carefully by Mets GM Omar Minaya.

Omar Minaya. Confuses me. He just signed Andy Phillips. Andy came up through the Yankee system, played a bit with the Yanks and sucked pretty bad. Now he's 31 and got released by the Reds. He's had around the equivalent of a full season of major league At Bats in his life and has hit 11 HRs and posted a .252/.294/.381/.675 (Batting Average, On Base Pct, Slugging Pct, OPS) line. That's bad. Roughly, that last number should be over .800 or so to be above average, depending on what position one plays. Look, we all know Carlos Delgado needs to be partially platooned with a right-handed hitter, but why Andy Phillips? I wish the Mets had some guy in their minor league system that can step in and provide some punch from the right side once or twice a week.

Wait for it.

Valentino Pascucci. Val. He's a beast (6'6", 260) and he isn't terribly young at 29. But he hits, if only in the minors. He hit another home run tonight and his numbers aren't updated to show that, but his line for the Mets AAA club is - .296/.420/.587/1.007. Add the homer and it'll be something like .300/.420/.600/1.020. For reference, if that last number is over 1.000 you're awesome. Usually only like a half dozen guys a year in all of baseball manage that. What's even better is that he punishes left handed pitchers to the tune of .404/.522/.865/1.388. That's a better line than anyone has ever put up in the history of the game (except a juiced Bonds in 2004). Now, do I expect he does this in the majors? Hellsno. But if he can only face lefties, I don't see why he can't hit .240/.325/.475/.800 for us (yeah, us - I'm with the Mets) this year. Better than Delgado's .224/.267/.388/.655 vs Lefties this year, right? Right. Let's do it.

Someone tell Omar.